OK, let me just tell you that you are a really good wife to even consider doing something that hurts you just to keep him happy. I wish for you that he could see how great you are because most women wouldn't even consider this.
In the end weather or not you have anal with him it is not going to matter though. if he is not happy in your relationship, you trying this for him is not going to change things. you need to find some other way to make him see how far you are willing to go for him. my advise is DO NOT do this. It will not only hurt physically (since you say it hurt before it wont feel any better this time) but it will later hurt your pride if he does go and ';explore'; with other women after you do this for him. you will ask yourself why you even bothered
try to find out what the problem is in your marriage first. you should try to talk to a counselor or something alone first and see what they have to say then after you figure out what the problem is try to talk to your husband about it and see if he will consider going to a counselor WITH you.Any advice on how to make this easier?
The only way is if you are really aroused and try to get on top so you have control.. It is gross to talk about and plan but you get into it it is easier.... But then you don't want to talk about it again when your done... It's one of those things you do but don't talk about.....
The way l see it your husband should not keep annoying you to do something that clearly you are not comfortable with. He knows exactly where you stand on this issue and he should just drop it. Do not let him make you feel guilty as you have done nothing wrong. He refuses to let you do it to him first so l don't see that he has the right to insist that you have it done to you. Ofcourse you want to keep your family together but he should also think about that . To keep a family together both partners need to be happy, it should not be one sided in any aspect of your marriage. Best of luck to you all
ok first thing is to relax if you are tensed up it will not be pleasurable at all secondly use lube a waterbased kind is the best and he also needs to take it slow at first if you do those three things it should be enjoyable
Make sure he takes his time and uses plenty of lube. It is best to start with something smaller, like a finger and work up. There are also numbing lubes you can buy at adult stores if he is just so large that you cannot tolerate it. But really, if it hurts you are doing it wrong. Not that it is necessarily pleasurable when done right.
He should respect your feelings. And if they want to cheat they will anyway. anal sex can be dangerous, you can get tearing in the tissue. hemorrhoids and its' painful for the most part that is why it's done with professionals or in porn, the girls are already fairly dilated in that department and high, drunk or both.since the anal opening does not contract back they will be using adult diapers very soon. There are other things you can do. watch erotic film together. wear sexy undies. whatever. and work on your issues. couple counselling if you can might also help. Good luck
I've heard horror stories about the rectal muscles stretching out and not being able to control your bowels...wearing ';diapers';. I would look into this to see if this is true or not before you go there. If this is what your husband needs to stay with you, that's a problem in my book! And don't let him stray on you, STDs are rampant these days and many are incurable!
Some people in this site may give you advice on how to do it. My advice for you is to do what you are comfortable with. Just like any new toy, the excitement will fade away after awhile but you will have to live with yourself after you have done something not concurrent with your own lifestyle. If your marriage takes a dive because of a ';no'; answer to anal sex, think that you did not have a marriage to start with. Don't do anything not in line with your moral or personality, you will live to regret it. I do not mean to be to funny but if your husband insists on doing it, mention the service of another man and carefully, very carefully watch his reaction. You will learn a lot about him that you really did not expect or want to know. Good luck.
If that is what will keep your family together than it probably isn't worth keeping. I am serious. What about the fact that he does not care about your feelings toward this. It can be degrading and a dangerous practice. I mean if there are couples that mutually agree that is one thing but this is totally one sided and in my opinion a control issue. I say 'stick to your decision' and if he can't accept that so be it.
If he goes elsewhere, he goes elsewhere luv-simple really! It is your body, not his. He has no respect for your feelings on this subject, only his own needs, and is therefore a very shallow individual--otherwise he would have stopped trying to force the issue years ago. Don't do anything you don't want to do M'dear...but if you DO want to experiment a little with ';A';, then do it your way, for your own safety and your own comfort, and if you don't like it then don't do it again...put your foot down on this one huny...never be cajoled into doing something you feel uncomfortable with, even at the expense of your marriage.
Some women find this pleasurable. It is like a fine wine or gourmet food....it is an acquired taste. Some people will love it....others just hate it.
It is true that the anus has many sensitive nerve endings. Read up on this in Wikipedia....for some good fact based information.
Take it slowly. Have him try one, two and eventually three well lubricated fingers. It will only work for the both of you if you will relax. Your experience can be pain free if you relax your muscles and he is patient. Take it slow.
If he is willing to leave you and children over something like this.....let him! A man who is that shallow or simple minded will never be worth much during a time of trouble.
Good luck!
C-F
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