This is hard for me I do love him but it isn't enough. The problem is $ I have no where to go, no way to support myself, he taked me into dropping out of college. I need a place for my kids and I to live, a way to pay for our needs. Any suggestions on how to get to started? Where to get help? How to get on my feet? There is so much I would like to say but im not given enough space on here to tell all....
PLEASE HELP, I am truly DESPRATE!I need some serious advice about how to do this please, any suggestions on how to leave when u have no $ ?
It can be done, but it cannot be done immediately unless you are willing to give up a lot. You need to make a plan, contact some people, and start saving money NOW.
You are right to want to leave this man, because of his anger. This is not healthy for you, and it is not healthy for your children. It's not healthy for him, but he is not in control. So that means you have to take control and make changes.
I am sorry that he was threatened and insecure and talked you into dropping out. I am sorry that you allowed him to influence you like that. I wonder how much education he has. Very often, men with less formal education than their partners/spouses are insecure and influence them negatively. It is imperative that you get your life back on track, and get back into college. But first you need to get out, find a place to live, get a job and find a way to get your kids into daycare or after-school care so you can get your professional life back on track.
First of all, go to the Yellow Pages and see if there is a women's shelter in your area. Contact them and explain your problem. They have years of experience in helping women out of desperate situations. Check and see if there is temporary housing in your area, like a Salvation Army Transitional Housing Development.
Is it a possibility to move in with a friend or to move back in with parents? Tell your friends and parents your situation. Very often, a man this angry is an emotional abuser, and one aspect of emotional abuse is that the abuser separates the spouse/partner from her friends and family. How separate are you from friends, family and community? You need to get back in touch with people.
Start saving money. Look at the newspapers and price apartments for rent. There are usually community centers and public services that offer free legal advice. Talk to a lawyer and see how much a divorce would cost. Think about if you would need a restraining order or not. Above all, get back into the community, get back in touch with family and friends, get a job, and re-enroll in college. Take control of your own life.
Look up ';emotional abuse'; and read up on co-dependency. Good luck to you, and I know you have the strength in you to make the change you need to make for yourself and your children.
Hope this helps. Cheers, KI need some serious advice about how to do this please, any suggestions on how to leave when u have no $ ?
Depending on the area that you live in...you may want to try searching for a website for domestic abuse victims. That should be a good start. If you have any close friends or family that can help you out...that is another good place to start also. His anger could be the controlling factor in your relationship. I'm glad to know that you recognize that you do need to leave. Good luck.
You could go to a domestic violence shelter, that will take you and the kids, but in order to stay you would have to file a police report against him, and get a restraining order.
There is help out there, you just have to know how far you are willing to go to get it. Call a domestic violence shelter, they will give you more info. They are in the yellow pages (in the USA).
Find a woman's shelter or a safe house somewhere, do not contact him in any way shape, form or fashion. Look up info in your area for that kind of stuff, there are women out there who will help you. You obviously have a computer, take it and make some money with it, there are a lot of jobs you can do from home or online. You can do it, be strong and good luck! If you have family anywhere ask them for help, tell them everything, a lot of times family will let you stay even if it is only because of the kids. Just remember to put the kids first in all you do, do it for them. They are God's gift to you, keep them safe! You can do it.....Good luck! Prayers never hurt!
try abuse hotline or missions or shelters near you. i have traveled thousands of miles from the mid west (iowa) to florida several times w/o money. i take it family too far away? you can also try churches, salvation army...what ever you do, don't give up!
go stay with friends or family for a while. if there isn't anyone to stay with, go to a battered womens shelter. Look for a job and save up until you can get an apartment or something. You are better off homeless than with an abusive person/father....
you must have a citizens advice bureau near you, they are in all towns. find out where it is and go and see them. they can give you so much help. be careful your husband does not get suspicious because it may set him off. you need to get out and fast for your safety and the children. if possible ask to be moved to a new town as far away as possible from where you are. you would probably have to go into a hostel for a short while until they house you properly. once housed you could go back to college for adult learning and restart where you left off. if they find a place for you , pack very little when he is out and go before he gets back. i wish you all the luck. be strong.
I think if you contact your local churches and/or police department they can send you in the direction you need to go. You need to take care of yourself and your children and there is help everywhere if your open to it. I am very sorry for your situation, pray, be strong and take care of yourself find happiness you deserve it!
relatives or a friend, sorry i couldn't be of more help
babe, please go to the dept of workforce services in your area. welfare services, they ahve locations for families in your situation. please get out ASAP before he does hurt you and/or the children. i know it is hard. i had to do it 8 years ago.
and yes, love just isnt enough. that is all you can give, but it apparently will not help him. he himself needs help, and right now, your priority is getting you and those kids out- and fast. if i had money, i would send it to you.
my prayers are with you.
go to a local church, go to a friend. salvation army. united way. DES (dept of economic securty).
there are several communities that offer subsidized housing. DES should know about that.
look through the blue pages of the telephone book. there should be some listings for family assistance. dont give up. just keep looking. and get out.
good luck.
Go to a battered women and children shelter. They will help you and your children and house you while you figure where to go next.. They will help you find a job an get back on your feet.
You can apply for welfare, unemployment, WIC etc. So many choices.
Find a job quick and get a restraining order from him
You are responsible for your babies. You need to protect them from harm. They are not growing on a healthy enviroment, you don;t want then to grow up thinking that violence is normal? This emotional abuse is hurting your kids, please! Seek help NOW!
YES YOU CAN! Many women have done it. I know that it's hard but you can do it. I did, and now my son and I are safe and happy.
Good luck
Call anyone. Parents, aunts/Uncles, friends you must know somwone. If it's a immediate threat call the police then try women's resources like 1-800-621-hope. There are lots if you do an interbet search. In fact call one of those instead of checking yahoo answers.
Can you go to a family members house for a little while, or a shelter. You can apply for public assistance.
There are places for women who are being abused ..these people will help you.. WOMEN FOR FAMILY'S AND CHILDREN...they will give you alot of support you and the kids..abuse is a really, really bad thing ...don't worry about money that will come .Get out or you want have a chance to spend a dime of money...get you and the kids out now...it never gets better it always get worse..YOU CAN DO IT..if you don't do it for yourself DO IT FOR THE KIDS....PLEASE
first of all look for a transition house in your area, they will help you live until you get a job and get on your feet, and get counselling for both yourself and your kids. your self esteem is most likely at the lowest part in your life. then contact salvation army, and other charitable organizations for anything that will help you set up a place.
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