Moving on from infidelity... We both want to but don't know how, any advice?

Okay, first I want to say, if you're going to tell me and my SO to just split ways, don't bother. We've decided we want to be together.





About 2 months ago, my SO found out I had an affair. We spent some time apart (about 2 months) and now we've decided to try to work it out.





We just don't know where to start. How can we build trust again? How can I help him to move on/get over the betrayal. He forgives me but he's human and he can't seem to forget. He says he wakes up with images of me being with someone else and it tears him apart. Is there anything that can be done?Moving on from infidelity... We both want to but don't know how, any advice?
First of all, he doesn't love you right now. Men do stay together after infidelity, but love isn't one of the reasons. It might be regular sex, it might be financial, or it might be for the children, but he no longer loves you. I am absolutely sure about this and have verified it with hundreds of family law clients.





If you want him to discover affection for you again, it will take years.......as in more than 5 years. Until then you'll have to tolerate quite a bit of punishment from him. If you're not ready for this, or you don't think you deserve it, leave now. It is necessary that you become submissive and tolerate endless conversations on the topic.





I'll tell you right now that most women aren't capable of doing what's required and either cheat again or simply give up. The success track record of such relationships is less than 10%.Moving on from infidelity... We both want to but don't know how, any advice?
If you both can't learn to let go, you may just have to go your own ways. I'm not really sure how you can ask a question on here and tell people what you don't want them to say, but honestly... if you two are going to spend the rest of your lives fighting and bringing up old stuff, you'll never be able to move on with life together.
OK look I have a question for all the women on here. Is it just me or do way more women cheat on husbands than husbands cheat on wives? Not talking about B/F or G/F but married? Also why is it that men take women back but women will never take a man back? Damn women cheat on their men a bunch it appears. If you can answer this then maybe I can answer this women's question.
Jack told you the truth and explained how you get back on track. It doesn't sound like you're receptive to the truth and you basically want a quick fix. You're not going to get one. You caused emotional damage by doing an evil act, now you want steps??? There are no steps!!!





The one person here who's not qualified to PICK an answer is YOU!!! You proved you're selfish and only care about yourself. Why the hell do you think you'd be receptive to the truth even if you heard it?????
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en%26amp;q=rel鈥?/a>
It's good that he forgave you.. the forgetting part should coem with time.. but it may take a realllly long time so I think therapy wouldn't be a bad idea to learn to cope int eh meantime...
By not cheating anymore. That's a good start.
Point taken, but there are no steps. For you this is a memory to six flags. Yeah you got to ride a few rides and had a good time, now the park is closed (i.e. he found out, you didn't tell him anything). You can't do anything about his thoughts. Right now you have to focus on HIM moving on, with or with out you. after grief comes anger. while you were telling him you were too stressed to be with him, you came home looking more beautiful everyday. He was the one stressed. You may have to put up with some choice words, mood swings, belittling (pretty much all the crap you put him through to hide your cheating ways) I just hope that he doesn't stoop to your level. I mean instead of getting ';revenge'; (thats such a woman thing) he just dumps you. But if you can handle all the stuff you dished out then maybe you can get past this, for the most part.





blessings





p.s. you have now proven to him that you are not special, and you are no different than any of these other indivudals with no self respect. on the plus at least he isn't your husband, so you dont represent him
Good for you, the most important step to reconciliation is that both want too. You might start with marriage concealing. You have already started you just need to keep working on it, with time and constantly reassuring him it will get better. Trust is built by doing what you say, when you say it will be done.


The four pillars to reconciliation are; Transparency, No Contact, Honesty, Remorse.


Do the things you did when you first started dating, that is how you got him in the first place. Do not take advice from anyone whom has not been through infidelity, they just simply don't understand the feelings involved in it.


I also recommend you check out this website : www.survivinginfidelity.com/welcome.asp There is a healing library, you can post questions, and just read other peoples situations to help you.