Need advice on how to handle step-son when bio-mom has left picture....?

My husband and I have had custody of his son for almost 4 years now. About a year after he came to live with us his bio-mother stopped contacting him. It has been 3 years since he has heard from her. We know that she has had drug probelms in the past and this is most likely the reason she has not been in contact. She has also lost custody of one of her daughter to the child's father only because she did not even show up for the custody hearing. We know that she has the rights to visit and call as stated in the custody papers. How should we handle the situation if she decides to come back into my step-son's life?Need advice on how to handle step-son when bio-mom has left picture....?
Check the custody laws in your state. When/if she does come back the child may not want to see her and you should abide by his wishes. She may clean herself up and be worthy enough to see him, but I would be there for him regardless. You can have the papers changed by the courts since she hasn't been around for 3 years.Need advice on how to handle step-son when bio-mom has left picture....?
try to be supportive. its her son after all. he'll need you there for him ya know.
How old is he? Is there a reason you think she might try to come back into his life?





As hard as it is, if she is not putting him in danger (i.e. doing drugs or exposing him to druggies) then I think you should carefully allow limited contact to see how it goes. If you don't, he might blame you for her not loving him.
I would fight her having full weekend visits until I knew she was straight. If you can work it out, have supervised visits, see how they interact and how she is doing. If it upsets your son at all, please discontinue the visits. She has made her bed, so let her sleep in it.


Please be very patient with your son, seeing mom will be very hard on him. He was rejected by her once and may act out.


I had this same situation with my daughters, at least I call them mine...and more importantly, they call me MOM!


Give your boy a hug for me and good luck, you sound like a great mom!
Check with your state but my daughter was told that if her ex-husband hasn't had any contact with her boys after two years than she can reliquish him of all parental rights by way of abandonment. This will allow her current husband to legally adopt her two boys. They plan on doing this as soon as they can afford the lawyer. Check into it--it might be the best thing for your step-son. Good Luck.