What is your advice on how to handle a 14 year old boy that will not obey (the family rules) and will not go?

to CHURCH?What is your advice on how to handle a 14 year old boy that will not obey (the family rules) and will not go?
What?!?! Spank him?!?! It is illegal to physically discipline a child in almost all European nations. Why would you hit a child? That is terrible. The boy is working things out: in the family dynamic; in his faith and religion; and most importantly, his limits in the household. All you need to do as a parent is tell him his limits, and impose a punishment that is greater than what he is willing to endure for the risk of doing the thing he is prevented from doing.





To be the best parent, you need to be accepting and interested in what he likes and respect him, then he will respect you. Don't worry if it is skateboarding or some other ';stupid'; activity. by the age of 20 he will be in college and doing normal things. we all participate in activities and act in ways at that age thta seems stupid to adults... then we all become adults. Once you have won his respect, the greatest punishment you can deliver is letting him know that you disapprove of his behavior.





You can't expect him to respect you just because you are his parent or because you are bigger than him. It doesn't work like rank in the Army. It is still a normal relationship like any other relationship between your friends. If you are his friend then he will want your advice. If you are his ';boss'; then he will hate you... tell me of the last ';boss'; relationship where you just loved your boss and did what they thought was best for you. Relationship dynamics don't change just because they are your flesh and blood.





I should also mention that forcing him to go to chuch and disciplining him if he doesn't won't exactly endear him to the Christian faith. You need to let him skip if he wants. Give him a chioce. Invite him every Sunday morning. At first he will enjoy the fact that he has a choice and not go, but eventually I bet he will start to go of his own accord. If you continue to force him to go against his will, it will force him further and further away from Christianity. Let him figure it out, and if he was raised in Chrstianity, then I bet he will eventually choose it.What is your advice on how to handle a 14 year old boy that will not obey (the family rules) and will not go?
I have a 14 year old son who is quite a rebel himself.


I choose my battles with him (he doesn't always like to attend family functions either, so I don't always make him come along), but if this is something that you feel is important, he needs to respect that.


If telling him firmly that you are accepting no excuses/refusals-he IS going-does not work, than I suggest you let him know it is a ';deal breaker';:


he will either lose something he enjoys (like video game priveleges-you have to literally take and hide his games), or he will not be allowed any perks from you, such as extra money to go out with his friends.


I have not been above bribery in tough situations, either: sometimes I'll sweeten the deal by allowing him to have friends spend the night if he complies. Good luck!
a 14 year old that won't obey!





Where'd he learn to do that?








Just tell him to go to church!
What church? If it is Muslim, then I say smart kid.


There has to be a reason!


I have trashed all churches in my life and have searched my opinions.


I've got a simple list: corruption, prevision, exploitation, more.


Please detail your situation.


Religion sucks , it is based on MAN rules.


Good stuff most of the time.


Have you sat down ';to give up and ask'; .....


What, Why, and How this got out of hand.


14 yea just about time to rebel . Hormones raging, understanding without without data.


I see ';maybe'; family rules are subject, not the 14yo's


What does he see that you don't.


The main item here is communication.
Why do parents keep making the same mistakes by trying to discipline a child when they get older? You should have disciplined him when he was a toddler up to age 14 then he would have a healthy fear of you. So you wait 14 years to want to force him to obey rules? No wonder he is disrespecting your wishes. Plus doesn't the Bible say, spear the rod, spoil the child?So why didn't you spank him when he was a kid? Now he has no respect for you or the family and you want to try to make him do right at age 14. WOW. Take it back to the old school, what did your parents to when you tried to disobey? When i was growing up if I acted like I didn't want to obey, there were extreme consequences including getting spankings and punshiments and I straightened up quickly.





The only thing you can do at this point is to MAKE him respect you and the family and by doing that, you are going to have to start taking things away from him such as activities he likes doing, certain toys or games he likes playing with and putting him on punishment. You need to have a deep conversation with him and tell him if he doesn't go to church, then you as the parent will put him on punishment and that means no talking on the phone or cell phone, no video games, no TV, no hanging out with friends and no social activities. He will see you mean business and will start doing as you say so he can gain his freedoms back. He has to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him and YOU need to make sure he understand that it doesn't. Now put your foot down and keep it down and start being a PARENT not a friend.
spank him
start taking away all the stuff he likes... going places... tvs.. cell phone all that stuff.. make him work for everything he wants... if he wont then i guess he wouldnt get anything. Or try boot camp?